Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
