I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
