five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
