dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
