I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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