I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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