Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
