Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
