At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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