I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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