so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
