he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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