i just wanna soil my oats bro
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
