It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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