6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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