So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
