just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
