I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
where am i from again
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize