pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
