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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm a corrupt cop.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed

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• (760): View more from California

  Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  When are your genitals available?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?

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• (858): View more from California

  TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people

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