I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
