I wish my penis had an off switch
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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