: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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