I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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