WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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