love makes seman taste better
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
