More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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