I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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