did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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