I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
