I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
