What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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