The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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