i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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