my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
