Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
