why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
