Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
