No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
