The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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