whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
