I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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