a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
