If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
