just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
