I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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