It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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