We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
