I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize