i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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