I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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