id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
