this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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