I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
