I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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