Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
