i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
