I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
