Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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