No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize