dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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