After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
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