don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
