Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize