I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
