Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
