remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
