I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
